On snakes and getting organized

My house is a shambles at the moment. And I’m not talking about the fact that I have a small snake in my refrigerator.

Don’t worry; the snake is dead and it’s double bagged. Also, don’t worry about the economy being bad. Snake is not on the menu. It was dead in the Vint Hill area, so I picked it up with my hand inside a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. I know you’re worried about my safety, so let me reassure you that I first took the precaution of making sure the snake was dead by taking my sandal off and very scientifically tossing it in its vicinity. Seeing that the snake had no reaction, I concluded that either the snake was dead or was male, and could not even feign interest in my shoe, however stylish.

I was going to keep little Snakey for the next day’s life science and biology class to view under the stereomicroscope. This is the one good thing about not throwing things away: You never know when you might need a gallon-sized bag in your purse. Finding those items, when you are a hoarder and you actually need them, of course, is another matter.

I suppose I shouldn’t complain about the state of my house, because it could easily get worse. It often does. I’m not the most organized person, and the more that is going on in my life, the more it shows.

For example, I’ve been carrying a birthday card for a niece in my purse. Sorry. I guess that was a dangling modifier. You’re going to think I also keep a niece in my purse. Sometimes it gets so heavy that it feels that way. If she didn’t mind hanging around under my armpit and could help me locate things in that abyss, it might be worth a try. But let me rephrase that: In my purse, I have a card for my niece. It’s already written in and in its own envelope. All I need to do is address it and put a stamp on it to actually get it out. Her birthday was at the beginning of the month. Should I send it now even though it’s late? Should I save it for next year? And who’s to say whether I could find this card eleven months from now. I’m having trouble remembering where I last left the stamps last week.

I need to get organized. I know that people say getting organized is a life-long process. It’s taken my whole life, and I still haven’t gotten there. Maybe it’s not a destination. Maybe it’s not a place you ever get to. Maybe it’s a process or a habit you develop just like what you eat and how (or whether) you exercise. You practice these and are mindful of them, but are never done (until you reach Snakey’s state.)

I've run across some good ideas on staying organized and happy. Obviously, I have yet to employ these tactics. Just ask our local librarians. They’ll tell you about the material I’ve been returning atrociously late. If getting organized is a pathway, I haven’t even made it out of the merge lane. I’m one of those new drivers who is stuck there, waiting for life to slow down enough so I can comfortably merge in. But life and traffic just don’t work that way. I need to pick up my pace and just jump right in.

Once, while trapped in the chair at the dentist’s office, I was flipping through some kind of “Family Fun” magazine and read through an article on getting organized. Yes, it's a little tricky to read while you're propped back, wearing sunglasses and have a light shining in your face. (Are they trying to simulate a beach experience? I’m glad they don’t have the hygienists running about in beachwear, or some people might need bigger bibs.)
But sitting in that chair, I could brave the elements because I was desperate. At this point, I can’t remember any of the techniques I read except to keep all your library material in one designated spot, like in a basket or on a particular shelf. Apparently, that hasn’t worked for me, either. Our designated spot for library books is in front of the engrossed reader. The only problem is that the readers refuse to stay in those darned baskets. Perhaps I should try my purse.

I have some tips of my own on getting organized. I can't guarantee that they will work for you - just because they don't work for me doesn’t guarantee that they won’t work for you. Next week I’ll share these tips with you. I can see that you are fascinated, so I expect you to join me.

See you next week! I’ve got to go and grab that snake before one of the kids takes it to school for lunch.