published in The Fauquier Times-Democrat Weekend on Friday, March 18th, 2011
So, to continue from last week, do you know what else gets on my nerves?
I am sorry to sound completely self-centered. I should talk about the crisis in Japan: earthquakes, aftershocks, tsunamis, and nuclear meltdowns. But you can read about that in those “other” papers – and don’t pretend you don’t. I’ve seen you behind your Washington Post’s around town. So let’s just save ourselves the awkwardness and continue.
I can’t say that it’s the crying baby in the seat behind you when you are flying on a plane, because first of all, I have been the parent of that crying child. Trust me; it gets on the parent’s nerves too. Possibly on their last, and very frazzled, one. Secondly, it’s been about a decade since I was last on a plane – not for a matter of fear or choice, but that’s the way it has worked out.
I can’t say it’s obnoxious, pushy parents because I’ve been (am?) one of those too. We each have our time and place to get ugly. Some of us stay that way. (And I don’t mean physically.)
There are many contenders, but I will try to restrict my vacillations. People who flaunt big words are not in the running; I like that. Anyone who can stretch my vocabulary is welcome, because my belly, budget, and patience have all had to stretch too.
What gets on my nerves? School fundraisers. School fundraisers REALLY, REALLY, get on my nerves. The only kind of thing those raise for me is the hairs on my back. And please don’t be picturing my hairy back. I’m not picturing yours; so kindly do not be visualizing mine.
What I say now, I shall say with the greatest of care and trepidation. In case you haven’t noticed, the schools and this newspaper haven’t been on the friendliest of footing lately. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. If you refuse to dance with each other, that’s one way of avoiding treading on toes, I suppose. (Oooh! I made a rhyme.)
I have experienced many types of schooling with my six children in 20 years of motherhood: home schooling, public schooling, and private schooling. I was never brave or confident or foolish enough (take your pick) to do the “unschooling” thing. My “baby” just turned six a couple of weeks ago, so years of schooling loom before us. Incidentally, this week he recited pi to 50 decimal places, edging out high school students to win our school’s “A Pie for a Pi” contest. It was his idea, and his own motivation. I barely have two seconds to give to my own children any more.
It doesn’t seem to matter whether you are in public or private school: fundraisers are the common affliction of schooling. I am probably scarred from a childhood of selling cleaning supplies, light bulbs, citrus fruits, and Christmas wrapping paper. Ah, those were the good old days when you went door to door with that gigantic white envelope marked by gridlines on which to record the orders. There was only the occasional creepy character who answered the door and leeringly looked you up and down as you smiled stupidly and continued your sales pitch.
School fundraisers get my hackles up. I work for a school now, and certainly I can see the need for many things. Would higher salaries attract and retain better teachers? Positively. Would better equipment make life easier and more efficient? Probably. Can you teach some things without all the gadgetry? Perhaps. .
I understand that classrooms need things and special projects need funding. I understand the collective desire and/or need for more money. We live in America, and more is better, right? I’d prefer my kids not be involved.
You want them to study? Me too. You want them to develop good character, be good citizens who contribute to society? So do I. I just don’t see how selling Christmas wrapping, pricey fruit baskets, and auctioning off specialty baskets enter into that equation.
Are we teaching them about capitalism? I love those special projects they do at the elementary school, where all day long the students barter for things they have mutually cleared out of their parent’s closets, garages, and basements. What a symbiotic experience!
Have you attended Mountain Vista Governor’s School’s World Fair? The Warrenton campus at Lord Fairfax Community College is opening its City of Tomorrow to the public on Thursday, March 24th from 9 am to 10:45 am. Visitors receive “money” to invest in the most promising inventions. Middle school and 5th grade GT groups can contact DeAnne Wilmore at 347-6237 or at dwilmore@lfcc.edu to schedule a group visit. There must be myriad other examples, but these are ones I know about.
The latest fundraiser involves handing over to the school of choice your friends’ or families’ names, addresses, and contact information so the school can send out letters seeking donations. Sorry. I’m not selling my friends. I’ll have even fewer then. I don’t like it, and I’m not playing that game. More on this topic next week.
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